i miss you, kiss

just cos you feel it, doesn't mean it's there

i’ve been distracted from everything recently, i find myself missing so many key points of conversation, making it difficult to understand exactly why i find myself smelling strange fruits and saying yes, i think you’re right. i try so hard to think about the words before they stumble out of my mouth but really, i’m only saying yes because they wanted me to. but really i am scared this is going to last forever and i will never escape, but merely turn around in a circle three times before i repeat the same mistakes. i’ve never really been good at holding on, my hands become sweaty too easily - perhaps i should buy some chalk. i do wake up early in the mornings, quickly pouring my thoughts into someone elses head before the strange heat of this place makes me feel uncomfortable, and i try to remember the pattern of freckles on your shoulder, but it’s difficult to think when there are birds singing lullabies in my mind.