i'm not afraid to say i'm scared

i'm still awake. i fixed my clock and i can hear it ticking, it never stops - maybe somethings are meant to be left broken. i tried sleeping but it didn't quite work out, i had to find a way to empty my head of it's thoughts and get on with my nothing. my sleeping, disconnected, unconscious state of bliss. but it still hasn't arrived, and i can feel my eyes drying out. this is torture in the strangest form - unwillingly self inflicted. how do you force yourself to stop thinking? i need a button, or a switch - something that controls some kind of power source so that i can switch to off, or hibernate, or something, even standby. just something that allows me at least a little rest.

p.s; i apologise for the poor quality of the photos. my camera has cancer and is currently at the hospital undergoing treatment. cross your fingers she will be okay, please.

sunshine, springtime, take me away...

Exams have commenced.

And although exam block ends on Monday, exams continue beyond that, so I have a lot of study ahead of me. But I'm sure I'll survive, my lucky pen will get me through it.

Me and this pen, we will go far.

I learnt something about myself today.

For those of you who have read the series of unfortunate events, of which the Baudelaire orphans suffered far too long - this will sound oddly familiar to you.

I really cannot concentrate with my hair down. It tickles my neck and rubs in my eyes, its like i am over sensitised to every whisp of hair and they're all trying to play hide and seek in my ears and the hollow of my neck, trying to blend in with my eyelashes.

So I have to snatch them all up and gather them together in a tight knot at the top of my head. Everything seems so my better this way, I can see everything so much more clearly.

Perhaps I should rename myself Violet.

Oh, if only I were as intelligent as she.