all of me, is all for you

four more sleeps. no wonder my body doesn't want to fall asleep.

pour a little salt, we were never here
staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

is it human nature to be naturally happy and it takes effort to be sad,
or is it human nature to be naturally sad and it takes effort to be happy?

we follow love, we think it makes us strong

i was feeling a little triste so amelie has been soothing my mind today. my dreams were not very nice last night and i woke up with the feeling that i might cry, if i remember correctly. needless to say, today was better than the last. being spent attending to the things i like rather than the things that others do. it was nice, but it wasn't perfect.

someone's always someone elses one

drawing mushrooms. my mother says i'm screwing things up, conversations consist of being told just how much i'm going to be shit at life. but i think that sometimes the results of things i do are nice. there's a pattern in my life, repeating itself everyday. i always know about the things trying to be kept from me, and i don't even try to. i'd rather not know. i'd rather people didn't refer to me as an animal and i would rather not receive subtle hints in study period. i would rather devote free time to a little careless dancing, but the housework is more important. i want to ignore the complications, i want to live surrounded by all things green. i would like to develop a liking to mushrooms, but i've found myself too stubborn, too lazy to try.

so what?

plastic passion is a sold out scandal

i think i finally have a favourite animal; owls. so if making the decision about something so irrelevant has taken me 17 years, i wonder how long it will take me to make this one. i'm almost certain i will wait it out until i can just walk away. everything is easier that way, and we know i always take the easy way out.

oh, it's plastic passion.

21

this is where i have been spending my days.

still, only able to offer love ^^,

all because the sun is shining so bright,

that i have to wear my hair way up high.

to try and prevent a case of heatstroke.

22

wear your heart on your sleeve

i feel so lazy, i've been doing nothing useful.
the only thing i can offer anyone lately is my love.
i'm too busy sleeping to give anything else.

absent,

is my mind.

i've found myself constantly zoning out to specific people, specific places, specific sounds, and smells. i fear it's becoming a bad habit. i've zoned a particular person's voice out because they so often in the past spoke .. crap. and although this person has changed their ways, i constantly find myself not ignoring them, just not hearing them.

i've mastered the art of dreaming with my eyes open. my thoughts wander to a series of unusual events, none of which have occured in life, but remain in my imagination. i find it rather embarrassing to snap back to reality and realised i have missed half a lewsson about how skeletal muscles contract, or half of the instructions on how to cook dinner - or even worse, three quarters of a conversation about who's going out with who.

information is useless to me if i only have parts, and am too embarrassed to enquire about the remaining pieces.

is there a cure for this habit - patches, perhaps?